Posted by: nancyistj ®
06/12/2006, 22:06:32
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Moron doesn't begin to describe the stupidity and ugliness of this man! I'm sorry you have to know him and glad he is leaving.
nancy
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Posted by: Dia ®
06/13/2006, 10:34:24
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I am sorry as well that you have to deal with someone like that. Once when I was working I had a customer that made fun of me and I pulled him to the side and asked him if I was walking with a limp would he imitate me than too? He said "of course not" so I asked him why he had to imitate my voice as I had no control over it. Well, he turned about as red as he could get and was a caring and friendly person after that. It is a shame that so many people are so stupid and thoughtless.
I am glad also that your problem person is leaving.
Keep up the good work. I have admiration for anyone with this disorder that can continue to remain in the workforce!!
Dia AD/SD 10+yrs
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Posted by: pep60p ®
06/17/2006, 05:29:48
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As hard as it is, use it as an opportunity to educate. Do you have any of those nice small wallet cards about SD? I would hand him that or lend him the video about SD. I hope these still are available. I got them a few years ago as an educational kit. There are no excuses for morons but any time an obstacle turns up in my path, I think to myself, "What will this teach ME?" and that is to educate. Best to you and hang in there!
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Posted by: Amelia Walker ®
06/13/2006, 15:25:14
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5 years ago I walked off a job because I overheard a co-worker laughing with a client about my voice. That was right before I was diagnosed and I was very touchy about how I sounded. (I had no idea what was wrong but knew my voice wasn't working right). It probably wasn't the best thing to do, but I had had enough. Luckily I found a much better job where I am appreciated! Amelia, Minnesota, AD-SD
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Posted by: bonniebelle ®
06/13/2006, 18:47:34
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Hi, Joan. I was mocked quite often by the classmates of my older children when they in high school. They said their classmates thought my voice was "cool." However, I know hurt on a different level with SD from looks of disgust I used to get from some people. One lady, after learning I had SD, told me when she heard me talk, she would say, "Why don't she just say what she has to say?" Your statement "you'd think I would be used to this," made me recall a discussion with a co-worker subjected to "good-natured" joking. When I asked him, "Why do you let them speak to you that way?" He said he was used to it. I told him no one gets used to having their feelings hurt. I can't see getting used to that kind of hurt, but I can see dealing with compassionately-challenged people in such a way as to lessen the impact of their juvenile antics to a mere pestiness. And on a good day, they won't matter at all. I hope you have many good days. The phone was intimidating. Talk about dread! I experienced everything from well wishes that I'd get over my cold, to a caller saying, "Thank you, sir, for your help. Have a nice day!" The first time that happened, I was stunned! I couldn't believe it! My supervisor asked me, "What's wrong?" I slowly said, "Have...a nice day...SIR!" Of course, he thought it was cute. I wasn't offended more than I was shocked. I commend you for remaining in the workforce! Good for you! I wish you much success in your journey with SD. Who knows? You may well be "the voice" for the SD community. Bonnie Simmons
ADSD 1999
Vocal Therapy
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Posted by: joan ®
06/13/2006, 19:40:07
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Thank you all for your kind words and support. Maybe I will try to write something about what it's like to be a reporter with SD! I have thought of it. Thanks again to all of you.
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Posted by: bywjg ®
06/15/2006, 17:14:27
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We need to keep educating people, and if it needs to be one at a time, so be it. Instead of telling YOU about the sports editor's childish antics, the receptionist should take the opportunity to educate him by saying assertively and kindly "You may not be aware of this, but Joan is dealing with a medical condition in which her voice does not do what she wants it to do. I admire Joan for all she does in spite of this." All the best,
Wendy
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Posted by: Dawn Smith ®
06/15/2006, 22:06:56
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Exactly right! I wondered that myself, why didn't she or maybe she did, tell him how insensitive he is being and try to get through to him. I wonder how'd he feel if he suddenly found himself having to live with this condition, would he be able to keep up his career and deal with people like himself.
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Posted by: Dawn Smith ®
06/15/2006, 22:02:05
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Joan,
I'm sorry to hear of your experience with the "moron" and yes, that's exactly what he is to be so cruel. I have had SD for about 27 years now and have only had one person do the same thing to me and that was this year at work. I work as a cashier in a busy store and come in contact with hundreds of people everyday and never really have any problems other than the usual " do you have a cold" etc. Although annoying, I've gotten used to that. But, one day, a man walked up to my boss as I was waiting for her to give me my money till and asked her for directions to a certain item...actually, he was very rude and just butted right in there...I knew she was very busy and so I offered to take him to it personally as he couldn't seem to follow our directions. As we started walking the long walk to the back of the store, he started asking me questions and then mimicking my voice everytime I tried to answer him. For the first time in a long time I felt totally humiliated and was swaying between wanting to run away from him and fighting off tears. I finally decided to just stop talking and let it go. He continued to ask me questions but I just stopped talking to him completely. He then had the nerve to tell my boss as he was leaving that I was rude to him but I had already told her what he had done by that time and she was kind enough to stick up for me and tell him how insensitive he had been and that it was a medical condition beyond my control. He then made some sarcastic comment about them hiring "defective" people or idiots or something complimentary like that (lol). We just need to thank God that we are not like them and are strong enough to hang in there and deal with all of this and I feel that if nothing else, living with SD teaches us to be more compassionate towards others and there are so many others much worse off.Dawn
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Posted by: Barbara S. White ®
06/16/2006, 01:38:15
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i had several different enoucunters with my voide before I ever know I had spasmodic Dysphonia. One termportary job they laudhed every time I talked, especially I had had to ollar at someone and my voice wouldn't carry. Everyone that that was fy.I had one job when I did phone sales and My boss called me in his offed one day say he had to let me go because my voice was very offensice. I would vert treat amuone the way I have often been treated. One plase they decided that I wa sbetter seen than heart so changed my job. I heard the littlechuckled all the time but that was me and I did what I could. I had no explanation to give anyone becaise I didn't know it was called SD at the time. I cried many time but only to myself. Some people mocked memade joles or just laughed. I just had to learn to laugh with them but it did hurt. Knowing what you have has got to be a blessing beause you can tell the people what you have and they sually feel very embarrassed that they joked about a handicaped person. Nabt bkessubg tiy tiy nt friend. Just tell people you had SD and it is catchy. They they you are talingking the best you can. Uauall this willnreally humble them Most people don't laugh at didsbisities, only at waht they don't understnad. Be blessed, / Barbara /god4m2comcast.het
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Posted by: krissie ®
06/16/2006, 04:11:14
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I was upset when a supposed friend who has a vocal disorder herself so should know better, trained her children aged 4 and 9 to talk like me. When I asked the children why they were talking like me they said "Mummy has been showing us how to".
I was so upset. I spoke to my friend and said that I would never dream of mocking her voice (a bad stutter) and I did not want this to happen again so would she speak to her children.
It hasnt.
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Posted by: joan ®
06/16/2006, 20:37:13
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Thanks, everyone, for all your help and support. You are right that receptionist should have taken a stronger stand---she is not always the nicest person, either.
It is sad to hear the stories, and also illegal to fire someone for a disability like SD. I was in the process of filing a similar lawsuit, but dropped it when I got this job. It's hard to be out in the workplace, though, especially as a reporter! Sometimes I have to do investigative work and I think people wonder how this blonde with a voice disorder is writing this hard-hitting stuff! But my voice may sound weak, but I am not weak and I am not going to let people characterize me that way. I am not my voice. Do you know what I mean? Maybe we need to get more press about ourselves! I will see what I can do! Thanks again,
Joan
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