I don't quite know how to say or ask what I want too so bear with me. I am almost sure my voice has recovered as much as it is going to since my surgery with Dr. Berke and Blumin in LA last June. I am now feeling some limits in how far I can go with my voice. That is range, volume and holding out without losing the end of my sentence to a slight hoarseness or fading out. I tend to feel the need to breathe deeply and swallow or clear my throat a lot. And yes I had some of these same feeling prior to my surgery, however my voice sounds great and I do not hear any spasms, nor does my voice skip. I tend to have some aching at times in my throat, usually when I am stressed or really tired and know I've overdone my share of talking. LOL

My husband has been saying I am too loud, especially while on the telephone talking to someone. I don't really realize that I am being that loud and it is difficult after years of having no to very little voice then having increased volume. I can't control it, it's like someones let the cat out of the box and I'm gonna talk until I can't talk anymore or bust!

I also sometimes if I haven't eaten in a while have a little difficulty swallowing the first few bites of my food. Then I get okay and can swallow fine. I try to drink a lot of fluids to keep my throat wet all the time. I've always felt the need to drink and clear my throat even before surgery. My fear is, Oh NO my voice is going to go away again soon because I have habits I can't change. Like clearing, coughing, and swallowing often. And another concern of mine is the level at which I talk at sometimes, which is really loud, and my mind not really making me aware that I am pushing to hard or talking loud and proper than I need or have too. I feel so blessed to have the great wonderful sounding voice I now have, but am constantly in fear of losing it again and then I'm not 100% sure that something else can be done after this type surgery. Although Dr. Blumin said there could be some other things that we could do or look into if this ever happens, but also tells me not to worry so much that the changes of the spasms returning are rare. (like 1% change)

Perhaps, I'm just worrying way too much! I guess with anyone who has had any type of voice surgery always has a fear of the unknown future. I just type not to think about it too much, if I can help, but lately It's been on my mind a whole lot. Please everyone pray for me and know that you are all in my thoughts and prayers on a daily basis. Even more than you will probably ever know. I'm just a soft hearted person who feels bad that others may not be able to or desire to have better easier communcation. Allow me to rephase this or explain before I get hurt. It's not that I mean others don't want there voices to be better or that they would not desire an easier ability to communicate. Some folks SD is just not bad enough to do things which are invasive to themselves. Or perhaps Botox works well allowing easier communication, then there are still others who just are willing to except there voices the way they are without any treatment. All I'm saying is that my heart goes out to each of you or anyone in this world that has a terrible voice disorder or any disibility.

I wonder why it is so devastating for a person to all of a sudden be unable to talk and voice there thoughts, wishes, opinions, etc. I know for me my voice was a part of ME and MYSELF Expression and Personality and losing it in mid stream of life truly does make it harder for one to deal with on a long term basis. It's like being gaged, taped over the mouth or strangled and there is nothing ones family can do for them except give them lot's of Support and Love, be careful to listen and slow to speak and gentle as a dove!

Can any of you who have had the surgery tell me if you have had or felt and concerns, problems or limits and share your experiences with me. I'd love to hear from anyone willing to comment.

Still Kicking in Alabama, Jan Joiner - Severe ADSD - SLAD Surgery 6/01

Many Thanks in Advance to all of you who keep this bb going and alive.