I do not know if you informed the judge about your condition concerning your voice. If not I don't blame you, the opposite, but if you did that would be in your favour. But as I wrote earlier the facts are what the verdict is based upon. If the court procedings and the rule of law would simply be based in appearance of the opposing parties and not about the truth and facts we would call it a Miss Universe competition. Since we do not call it that, we base it on the law, truth and the facts. The personal appearance of the parties is totally irrelavant. It would be different if you or the other party would have been causing disturbance, like being drunk or on drugs. As for a starting point my personal experience is that at least in Finland the court is almost always on the side of the mother, especially with questions of child support. I have no reason to think this would not apply in the US too.

As I understood it your case was about child support. Unfortunately I am not familiar with the common law in general or the american law in specific. I just wondered why are your children being interview if the custody is not the legal question here, but the father's failure the live up to his financial responsibilities. Seems strange to me.

I would hope you could get some kind of legal support with this. And remember everything is not about your voice or apperance in general. Child support has nothing to do with such things.

Best regards by a supporter from the other side of the Atlantic,

I wonder if there is any way you could get some support from an advocate (a volunteer sort of advocate, I mean, not a legal type) rather than have to keep going into court completely unsupported? I can identify with what you say about not being very good at asking for help (I'm the same) but maybe it is worth exploring that possiblity? Or could you ask the court, in writing if necessary, for allowance to be made for your voice disorder, ask for a microphone if that would help, or to be allowed to respond in writing or something like that? I do think it might help for you to be up-front about your voice disorder, if only to make it clear that the wobbles in your voice are not due to stress. You are a strong woman to have done what you have with your kids, unfortunately because you have got SD you sound like the exact opposite!

If none of this appeals to you, then just remember, the next time you are in this court, that lots of people from the SD bulletin board are there with you, in spirit at least!

Where are you in BC? I'm in Kelowna and I do a lot of Court work as a psychologist. Email me at glea@shaw.ca if you want more local support and I can give you my phone number. When I go to Court I simply tell the Judge that I have a voice disorder which makes me sound nervous or strained when I'm not. I've found Judges to be very understanding and patient so long as they know what is going on.

Gary Lea