Not that women don't face the same situations in the work place, but I just thought a guy might understand what I'm asking a little more easily. Anyways, I'm 25, a college grad, and just a couple years in the workforce. I was diagnosed with SD about 1.5 yrs ago, so most of my post-college work experience has been colored with dealing with SD.

SD makes me very nervous and self-conscience. What scares me is that my nervousness/anxiety makes my SD symptoms more noticeable, more pronounced. I worry about that b/c I worry about how I present myself and come across in the work place. I hve always been told that it is good & leads to greater success, advancement if you can present yourself as a confident, relaxed, amiable person who also is assertive and firm when needed. I worry that my SD is going to betray my anxieties in stressful situations and will undermine how I come across.

I am currently in cust service / sales support job for a maufacturing firm that would lead most directly into a sales position. Obviously how you act and speak are fairly important in this regard. With Botox shots, my voice is pretty good most of the time. When the Botox is wearing off, my spasms can return. Usually slightly except for when I'm more self-conscious or nervous. Right after Botox, my voice will crac a lot, especially if I am trying to speak louder or am nervous.

So if anyone can relate, has any advice, or just wouldn't mind sharing there own work place situations, I'd appreciae it.

Thanks,

I know what you mean!! I have shared (and share) many of the same concerns, fears, and anxieties that you do. I don't think I have any advice to give you per say except to offer you my moral support.

Please allow me to share a bit of my history. After seminary I became an ordained minister and pastored a church and taught in a theological school for over 15 years. When my SD "started up" in the late 80's I thought it was just the stress of the ministry. I tried anti-anxiety medication that didn't help with the SD at all. Making a long story short, I left the ministry and now am a college librarian. I still have to interact with the administration, faculty and students quite a bit. Since being diagnosed with SD I've become more vocal about it (pardon the pun). Personally, I find that the best thing to do is when I'm having a really bad "voice day" I just tell people I have a voice disorder and that today it's acting up. I feel that that takes some of the pressure off me when they know what's up. Along with that I try to breath deeply, (my breathing gets shallow when I'm anxious) and I KEEP telling myself that having SD and not having a normal voice is not the worse thing in life (though when your standing in front of 30 college students and can't talk it sure feels like it!).

Well, best of luck, stay encouraged and continue to share how you feel (I think that really helps).

I guess I've had ad/sd for about 7 years now and I'm 30 years old. A man in his prime such as yourself. Having sd is no pick nick, but still I've coped, better yet not let this condition hinder me. On the hinsight I might have made some choices in life which where influenced by sd. This is much to do with the nature of this disorder, the way it usually comes gratually. To date I'm not even sure which year I got sd, only that I gratually got trouble in speaking. Weird, but not uncommon. I guess this is how it usually goes with sd, though read somewhere that sd normally is diagnosed around the 40 years of age. With docs getting more familiar with sd, can bring that figure much lower.

It gradually got to the point where I finally seeked medical advice. After getting the diacnose by the experts, and going through the emotions I can say that I accept this condition. I mean by this that I've not letting go of hope for a cure but that today there is not much I can do about it. Except for botox shots which I'm taking for the symptoms to lessen and the speech therapy which showed me how I compensated/misused my vocal organs while speaking.

Educating people about sd, well, I'd say that's not for me and not for many men in the job market. At least not in a country like Finland, were men are men, jobless figures high and silence is thought to be golden. Idle chatting is in general thought to be gossiping and is reserved for older women and american tourists (?!). The only handicap the males are interested in general is the one in your green card. Might sound harsh, but that's my reality. While you can do your job, things like sd is your private business.

On the job front, it used to feel to me that I had to give a head start for other people. I guess partly for that reason I made sure that my credentials were far more than the average person seeking the same employment would have. Over compensating in learning whils others got by with less. Sure the main reason for studing was the mere joy of study, knowing how things worked.

Call it fate or God's work, this disorder has taught acceptance and humility to me. If not for sd I'm grateful for but for what it has taught me. I guess there was no other way to show this to me, had to be done this way. Also without sd I'd probably had studied less, which is a pro that I did study more, though knowledge can sure make you skeptical or even synical in nature. Learn much to know you know really nothing, as the saying goes I recall.



In short my advice for your question: care less, worry less, wonder less. Worrying gives you anxiety, anxiety causes the ad to worsen and gives you more reason to worry, which gives you more anxiety. Vicious cycle. Break the cycle by letting go. I tell people who wonder about my voice that this is the way I sound. If you cannot handle it, tough. Sorry, I'm here to stay. I've found this to be the right strategy in the work place for me. With botox these questions don't even arise, I've experienced.

As for the Botox I had on 12/12/02, the breathy period has passed with me. This was my second time with botox. This time it took about little over 3 weeks gaining as normal as possible voice. No spasms, quite effortless to speak. I'd hope this would last as long as possible. All the best for you Bill and others. God bless.

I know you asked for men's opinions on this, but I'm going to respond anyway.

As a woman working in management positions and dealing with Fortune 500 middle and senior management (especially in male-dominated IT departments), I am forced to deal with exactly the same issues as you. You are absolutely correct presenting yourself with a confident sounding voice is critical to credibility and future success. In some regards, I think women have it worse.

There have been many studies (not related to SD)that have shown that women in the board rooms or even in meetings have a much more difficult time getting their opinions heard or getting credit for their ideas because (1) they tend not to have as low a voice (which is somehow subconsciously taken to be a sign of an intelligent or knowlegeable person) or as loud a voice and (2) they tend to have a communication style that generally includes waiting for their turn to speak. As a result, they don't get the chance to speak or their words get stepped on or swiped.

Having been in many meetings dominated by men, I can see where this could indeed be accurate. Luckily, I'm not a shy person, so I don't mind jumping in. However, the SD adds a whole other dimension to this fight, as you so accurately described. It is very difficult to speak authoritatively when your voice cracks and you sound like a pubescent boy, or when it trembles and you sound like you are very nervous.

Unfortunately I don't have too much advice on how to handle it. My typical way is to try to do as much when my voice is in its best operating mode and then lay a little lower and rely on e-mail more during the worse periods. Granted, avoidance is not a good plan, but given the issues with self-confidence that you spoke of, it seems to be an easy crutch.

So not such good advice, but at least know that there are others out there who share your concerns. Also, please remember that as a man in the American workforce, you already have a subtle advantage over women in the "automatic assumptions" area. Point is: Women definitely know what you are going through, especially those who have SD!

Thank you. You've described my experience in business, to a tee. Middle-manager, in a technical software field, with great vocal demands...maybe 7 or more hours a day of talking? You are correct.

Obviously, there is a large difference between men and women (in life and society and the way we all process, with communicating, etc.);but, I also suffered greatly, in what could be called "a man's field" (Corporate Information Technology, as a manager of men) not having a voice, and being severely judged by peers and officers of the company, when suddenly losing my ability to speak in 1990 and inability to represent my employees, my high$$$ software projects and my clients.

I applaud you for responding to this thread. It captured my interest also, having spent my career in a man's field. I also applaud ALL MEN (such as some of the active participants on this bulletin board) for being visible. SD is generally thought of as a "woman's disorder" with more patients being female. It used to be called "hysterical dysphonia" (prior to Dedo's research) and thought to only affect women.

We've known for many years now - that is not true.

The fact that men develop our neurological disorder also (when most doctors are men) enables us women to have more influence, when dealing with doctors. Otherwise, women with SD often get short shrift.

On this thread, as elsewhere, I enjoy hearing from the men with SD. In a way, the men with SD validate the rest of us, such as you mention.

Thanks Karen. Excellent points! Let's keep this one going.

Thank you all for writing - I am realizing how my question was so not just for men. But as you said, Lynne, SD seems to be dominated by the women. I was hoping to see what other men might have to say.

But thank you for your profound admiration of us SD men. . . maybe we should do a calendar? (kidding)

I was thinking today about how I act at work, around work collegues & aquaintances. Generally, in my life, I don't throw out very personal information to these kinds of people, meaning at this level of a relationship. I think of these as more personal things that are better kept to more intimate friends, family, partners, etc. But the SD is something that can be quite noticeable. When I have my Botox shots and my voice is soft and will crack, I often will not say anything about SD. I'l just play it off as if I'm losing my voice a bit, or have laryngitis, or just don't say anything about it. I let others form their own opinions.

I do this b/c I still would rather not have to talk about SD and share it. I still think of it as a weakness, or that if I talk about it to people, they will think I am making excuses for myself or feeling sorry for myself or whatever (then again, maybe this is what I am doing and just don't want to get caught in the act).

But when the Botox is wearing off, the symptoms return, and I either try to play it off, or speak less, or will have to say I have SD.

I guess the question is, like Linda has said, do you announce to people you have SD to put them at ease first? Do you just play it off? Do most people at work know you have SD and what it is? Do they ask?

I'd like to keep this thread going, too.

Sounds good to me. Sign me up for a few. Will you do bods or cheesecakes of vocal cords?

Unless there's a whole subculture associated with this SD thing I'm not aware of.

But yes, stay tuned for the Men of SD calendar coming soon to a stoe near year. We're currently talking with WalMart.

Of course all the money goes to research.

I know many women who hold executive and board positions with effectiveness and success. Some even work in the male bastions of basic heavy industry. Since I’ve had SD and continued in the work force, I’ve found that people aren’t very interested in my voice (or lack thereof). They are interested in what I can do, not what I cannot do. In fact, my continuing despite my challenge results in some people perceiving me as stronger than when I had a strong voice with which to present myself.

Each of us must find his own way. Assuming limitations is the way to ensure them.

I love your attitude! You are absolutely right! We are only limited by the assumptions we place on ourselves.

Thank you for that wonderful reminder. It's so easy to fall into the habit of worrying about what can't be done. Thanks for reminding us to look beyond.

One question, though: Shall we take your can-do approach to also mean that you don't tell people about your SD? Or do you just admit it and get on with life?

Fortunately, I have been able to continue progressing in my career, but I usually just try to avoid telling people about the SD. Perhaps that is my way of not focusing on what can't be done? (or am I just rationalizing this?)

Thanks for your very kind words.

Answering your question, I tell people about my SD. I have AB quite severely. I'm generally understandable due to good results with alternative phonation; but, my voice definitely is not normal and I often use an amplification device.

I mention my SD at the outset and usually with a humorous quip. An example is "Before we start, let me mention that I've got a voice disability. Talking is difficult for me, but women just don't shut up easily. I know I'm sometimes hard to understand and please let me know if I need to repeat. I don't want anybody to miss anything." I say this with a big smile. Everybody roars with laughter. When I know some people and don't know others in a group, the ones I know start chuckling as soon as I open my mouth because they know I'm going to say something outrageous.

This accomplishes multiple objectives including: (1) people focus on what I say rather than my voice, (2) everyone else is at ease and doesn't mind asking for repetition if necessary, and, most importantly, (3) it is obvious that the SD voice is no big deal to me, and it becomes no big deal to anybody else, either.

And, hey, Karen... To me, mentioning my SD isn't "admitting" anything. SD is not a weakness, or any cause for embarrassment or shame.

All the best,

Linda

In case you guys do see this, one question - do you explain the SD to all people you meet? Or a majority, I guess? I know the reaction you are talking about, Ida, where you can see it in someone's eyes that they are wondering why I sound the way I do and aren't really listening to what I'm saying just how. In fact, I find myself doing this when I speak - I'm listeing to how my words sound rather than what I am saying. But getting back to the question, if you're talking to someone new or in an infrmal group setting where there isn't really much structure, do you generally explain the SD before making your comment?

An example, I'm standing talking to a friend at work. Two other guys approach who know my friend but who I don't know. My friend introduces us briefly and then asks one of the oter guys a question or whatever to keep a conversation going. When I feel like throwing out a comment, I normally don't lead in with, "By the way, I have a vice disease which is why I sound a little funny. But anyways, yeah the Bears played awful on Sunday. There offense sucks!" It just seems so unnatural.

And I think what I and others might mean by "admitting" SD is not that we should hide it, but in normal daily conversations it usually is topical in a way and people geerally don't divulge too much prsonal info with regular colleaues or aquaintances. So it seems not normal to throw out a personal statement about this weird disease I have. I'd be worried that they think I want pity for it or something.

But now that I've said that last sentece, maybe that is why I don't sy anythin in the first place. I want pity instead of just accepting it myself. Whoa - major realizations!! I think. . .

Your thoughts?

I don't have any well-formulated guidelines, so let me just give some examples:

-- If I'm on an elevator and someone makes a comment about the weather and my voice reveals an "abnormality" when I respond, I just don't worry about it. Same if I'm giving my name to a receptionist to ask for the person I'm visiting.

-- If I'm shopping and exchanging more than just a few words with someone assisting me and it is clear they are noticing my voice (you always can see it on a person's face), I might just smile and say "I have a voice disability" and then continue whatever else I was saying. The sole purpose here really is to remove confusion for the other person. If someone perhaps says "oh, you have laryngitis," I might smile and say, "I wish! Unfortunately, I have a voice disability and I sound this way all the time."

Always smile because this means it is no big deal to you and it helps it be no big deal to anybody else. And, if somebody says something ridiculous like "oh, I know how you feel" when clearly they have no idea how you feel, just remember that they mean no harm and keep smiling.

-- Often, my voice is weak, and if there is noise in the environment I have to stand closer to a listener than would be customary in accordance with U.S. culture. In this instance, I might smile and say "excuse me for getting so close, I have a voice disability and don't have much volume." (Very useful in certain social situations!)

-- In a "water cooler" conversation where I'm just introduced as you describe above, if I see that someone notices my voice when I make a comment (which is most of the time), I smile and say, "I know I sound odd, I have a voice disability." And then, I would continue with my comments. Or, how about, "I know I sound odd, but even with a voice disability, I sound better than the Bears play defense!"

-- I've written before re business interviews so I'm not going to repeat to avoid boring everyone.

-- Re more complex interactions, whether business or social, usually I identify my issue quite quickly just so people focus on my content, don't worry over me, etc. I've written about this before, too.

Most regular BB readers know that if I say more than "I have a voice disability" there is going to be some humor in my statement.

IMPORTANT POINTS:

1. IF YOU ARE SMILIING WHEN YOU MENTION THE DISABILITY, NO ONE WILL PITY YOU.

2. THE REASON TO MENTION THE DISABILITY IS NOT TO FOCUS ON IT, BUT TO REMOVE FOCUS FROM IT. However, many people will sincerely ask questions, either out of curiosity or interest in you. And, then, you can utilize that opportunity however is most appropriate for the situation.

I'm a little overwhelmed right now. I'm a trial attorney -- perhaps not the best career choice for someone with a speech disorder. So far, it has not slowed me down - I was made a partner at a large law firm in less than the normal track time. But I am at a point in my career where I have more frequent courtroom appearances and need to develop more of my own business (as opposed to running cases for more senior partners). It is clear to me that when people know me, and know the quality of my work, my speech is not an issue. But I am concerned that potential clients may have trouble seeing me as their "voice" before the judge and jury. I'm also concerned about the impression that I make on a jury. I argued a side before a mock jury last year (its how we test our arguments before the actual trial, which fortunately settled the eve of trial) and when I listened to the "jury" (behind a mirror) discuss my argument the first thing they talked about was my voice rather than the merits of the argument.

Being able to handle stress is a basic requirement of my job, so unless I switch careers, reducing stress is not much of an option. Deadlines and court schedules also mean that I cannot choose to opt out of speaking on a bad voice day. And I'm not sure that standing up and explaining the problem to a judge or jury -- or even a client for that matter (not what they would want to hear) -- is typically possible as often I am jumping in for the first time in the middle of an issue. So, do I just struggle on, ignoring the issue, as I have done for the last 20 years, hoping that everyone else does so as well. Do I try voice therapy - does it help on its own? Or do I go straight for the Botox? From the literature I was given, I'm afraid that I could have 3 days of no voice, 2 weeks of quiet or overly high pitched voice, and then just four weeks of improved voice before I have to go through the cycle again. Or should I be considering a career change. Any thoughts?

Vickie